I couldn’t see anything aside from what was revealed by the occasional flash of the bright red emergency light. I couldn’t hear anything other than the hair raising screams of the women.
What is happening?
Where am I?
Wait. These faces are familiar. Lindsey, Ari, Alli, Alayna, Scott, Me… We’re all here. My whole team. I even see myself. We appear to be confident people with purpose, fully understanding what needs to happen and working together so perfectly to accomplish the task that has been set before us.
And those… The faces of the women in The Blessing. The screams belong to them.
As the volume of the screams increases, so does the frequency of the flashing lights. I’m watching and beginning to understand. We’re rescuing them. There is some sort of danger. Though I’m not entirely sure what sort of doom is impending, I know that this is urgent.
My blinking is becoming more elongated. Finally I open my eyes. I’m home, in my bedroom. Back to reality. It was only a dream, but I feel the same urgency, passion, desire.
We’ve got work to do.
I’m aware that this was only a dream, but I felt like I’d physically fought another person for the entire night. I tossed and I turned like no other night in my whole life. It was wack, for real, but I knew that after a dream like that one, I had to be more involved in what was going down.
Not long after we began ministry in The Blessing, God gave Lindsey a vision for ministry to women in our community and she refused to allow that to drown in the river of tasks that already surrounded us. She quickly brought her dream to the team and the ladies immediately got to work to discuss and prepare to host women’s retreats.
At first, I felt excluded. When I say that I had no idea what was going on, I mean that. The girls had done all of their work in our host’s home, so I didn’t even catch glimpses of the vision unfolding. That was tough for me, but as a result of a conversation about my feelings prompted by my dream, Scott and I were given a brief synopsis of what had been and would be happening.
The plan was to host a series of three retreats for our last three Tuesdays in our community. They’d be by invitation, mostly so that we could ensure that the ladies would know that this would be going on. There was definitely freedom to bring friends and we saw them capitalize on that a bit. Logistically, we planned for teaching, a skit, real life stories, worship, interactive pieces, and dinner. Scotty and I would be responsible for childcare while the gals on our team were with the women.
Though I was asked to lead worship, I felt as though the Lord was asking me for more, but I didn’t know what might be, so I talked to Linds. I walked away from our conversation a bit frustrated because it didn’t seem as though the idea of a man taking on a greater role in a women’s retreat would be entertained as deeply as I wanted. She made sure that I knew that she would listen to and consider any ideas that I had, but I wasn’t prepared to present any in that moment so I began to seek the Lord to know what he might want from me. I even did some research to understand how others had addressed the topic of a man’s role in ministry to women, but I was disheartened when I couldn’t find a single article on the topic.
After conversations with a trusted male figure in my life and a trusted female that does extensive work in women’s ministry, I finally knew what it was that God wanted from me in this specific ministry. Honestly, His desire for me here is no different than His desire for any person in any facet of ministry.
Submission.
Submission is vital to the success of any ministry. As we submit to Jesus and He calls us to join the work of other believers, we must submit to the authority of the leadership that God has given the vision to.
That was a tough pill for me to swallow. I like to be in control and I enjoy being the front man, but I knew that God had entrusted His vision for our women’s retreats to Lindsey and it was my responsibility to submit to her as she submitted to the Father. So I did what He told me to do and I watched as the Lord was glorified by the work of my incredibly capable sisters.
Our final retreat was this past Tuesday and it was absolutely incredible. We chose not to deliver invitations for this event and God blessed us with MORE people than any of the others. Word got around about what He was stirring up and no one wanted to miss out. Yall… by the time I walked into the room to lead worship, the Spirit had already filled the space in such a beautiful way. Tramping into the room with my guitar was a feat. There were so many bodies in such a small space, it was hot, the air was thick, the Holy Spirit told me to get down on my knees, so I did. When it came time to sing, I sort of blacked out. I have no idea what we sang for the first while, but what I know is that Jesus was exalted.
There was a spirit of freedom in that place that I’ve never felt before. Women felt freedom to bring their friends. A man struggling through his sexuality felt the freedom to enter our room full of women and hear the gospel. Our translator, who was not associated with our group, felt the freedom to preach. Nolo, our host, felt the freedom to lay his guitar down and pastor his people. The women on my team felt the freedom to wander about our space to pray for the people in attendance. I felt the freedom to sing in Spanish even though I never have. Chains broke. Lives were healed. Women gave their lives to Jesus and all we did was submit to the Father.
Abba swept his children into his arms, began to rock us, and told us how much he loves us. How freaking sweet is that. I’ll never be the same. WE will never be the same.
My friends, the same God that’s moving and changing lives here is the very same God that wants to move and change lives exactly where you are. You don’t have to move across the world to see it. Take a chance. Submit to the Father and when you do that, he will give you vision and He will move in a way that you’ve never experienced. Do it. Fall on your face before the King of kings and ask him how He wants you to submit to Him.
To all the folks that donated money and prayer, THANK YOU. We could not have done this without your contribution. We honor you.
I love you.
AWM
