October 28, 2020

Here’s a little scene setting work for ya.

October 28, 2020

This whole day has been quite an odd one. On any typical Wednesday, I would have been awakened by my lovely sister, Betty, coming in from her overnight shift at the hospital with an ungodly amount of energy for someone who just worked a twelve hour shift. I crash at her place on Tuesday nights because I volunteer at an afterschool program on the coast every Wednesday. Getting to see Betty gorl and my mama and my brutha, Blake, is such a sweet part of every week. (My dad is a truck driver, so I just catch him whenever he is in town. Luh you, pops!) Unfortunately for me, Hurricane Zeta rapidly and vigorously approached the Mississippi Gulf Coast and I had no desire to drive the meatball (shoutout to my red kia sorento) into a hurricane, so I made the decision to stay in Purvis this week. I spent the day binging the Good Doctor (v good if you need a new show to binge), buying cheez-its and topo chico, and soaking in time with the family that’s allowed me to live in their home for this season. It’s been a good day, but much different; slow. 

and ACTION.

As the storm raged outside, I knew the worst had not yet come, so I put my phone and laptop on charge, threw some clothes in the washer, took a nice long shower, and then laid down with my journal, bible, and laptop determined to write “Training Camp pt. 2.” Honestly, I’ve been struggling these last few days. I know that I promised a part 2, but I just didn’t know what to expound on. God taught me so much in just 9 days and I don’t know what He wants me to share and when. I’ve drained myself emotionally and creatively as I have attempted to write a blog that eloquently captures the mess that is my brain right now. Finally I gave up. I slid my laptop to the side, I picked up my pen and I began to write in my journal

“ I’ve got so many ideas for my next blog, but I’m really not sure that I have the words to write any of them. Would you be so gracious to lead my hand? My mind? My thoughts?”

That’s not eloquent at all. Straight from me to Jesus; not really knowing what to say, but really wanting Him to join me in the process. In that, I guess my highest hope was pretty selfish; now that I’ve surrendered this, he has to give me a neat idea to write about. That’s just what He did, and in true Sovereign Lord fashion, He had to make a whole scene. 

I heard a thud and a shout downstairs, so I hopped out of bed to go check on the happs. Our fireplace insert had been blown out of its place by lil miss HZ. (HZ is the nickname I gave to the hurricane. I really like nicknames.) As Shane and I were cleaning up the mess from some displaced plants, the power flickered and then it was gone. We consoled the upset kiddos by relocating them to the couch in the living room, turning on Frozen (the big one, not the blue one. that’s important because thats how the 2 year old identifies them.) on a tablet, and lighting some candles. I’ve seen the big one a few too many times, so i opted out of that party and I chose to lay on the floor, arms extended, palms upward ready to chat with the Lord. My family was all I could think to pray for. I haven’t seen them in a few weeks and I miss them, so I decided that I wanted to talk to God about them and that’s when it hit me. At training camp, God specifically told me to do something and I had yet to make any moves toward accomplishing that. I navigated the darkness to grab my journal from my room, turned on my headlamp and started to write. 

“I’ve got some baggage that just might hinder my ability to write what you want me to write.” 

God spoke and now it’s my responsibility to handle what he’s told me to handle. I’ll be back soon, but that’s what I’ve got for you for now. I appreciate you. I hope you are being challenged into a deeper relationship with the father right now. If not, go find him and make space to hear from Him. 

Much love,

AWM