Training Camp pt.1

Wuddup, wuddup! 

Training camp is finished and I am one happy fella. I’ve got tons that I am really excited to share with ya, but in an attempt to save the mystery for future racers, I am only planning to share some of what the Lord did in my heart personally this week. (Future Racer, I know you’re just looking through all the blogs titled “Training Camp”. I’ve been there. You will thank me for this. Stop right here, go open the scriptures, and be sure that you’re expecting nothing more than an incredibly intimate encounter with the Father when you get to training camp.<3)

For those that might be wondering, Training Camp for the World Race is designed to equip and empower racers for what is to come, whether that be in time devoted to worship through teaching and music, community development, or real life scenarios. 

This week I had one of the most powerful, unique, and personal encounters with God that I have ever known and I’m juiced to tell ya about it, but first, lemme give you some context. 

Just over a month ago I was sprawled out on the floor in my bedroom with a gnarly stack of books in front of me and I was determined that I would not only hear, but recognize the voice of God before I left that space. As I cracked open book after book, I couldn’t shake the urge to simply lay there on the floor, close my eyes, tell God what I wanted, and then wait, so that’s just what I did. I made my request to the Lord and waited. My heart actually began to race rather quickly and then it slowed as I recognized that he was fulfilling my request. Though it wasn’t exactly what I expected, I know that I know that he met me there. From that moment forward, I’ve been digging into what it means to have an intimate relationship with Jesus. He is redefining some things for me and it’s so sweet. Without this experience and the days of intense study and communion leading up to training camp I would have been so lost this week, but God is, indeed, sovereign. 

Throughout camp we were provided with plenty of space to seek the voice of God. At the beginning of the week we were specifically told to bring one question before the Lord, “What do you think about me?” Honestly, after a bit of time praying, I made up an answer and moved on. Big ol’ mistake. 

During our time of worship through music the next day God said “ask me again.” I didn’t even know what this meant, but I fell to my knees and found some stillness in a room of thirty rowdy worshippers and it came to me… He wants me to ask what he thinks of me again and ya know something… I was afraid of how he would answer. 

If you’ve known me for a while, you might know that it’s been tough for me to like, much less love myself. My personality is pretty big, I’m loud, and I talk a whole lot. I’m afraid that people become overwhelmed with me rather quickly. I’ve always had a pretty low view of myself though I tried to communicate something different. So when it came time to meet this group of people that would become my family and partners in ministry for the next year of life, I was worried and began to ask myself all the questions. 

Will they like me? 

Will they think I’m too much? 

Will they be afraid to tell me what they think and just pretend to be my friends? 

I had plenty of questions rushing about in my head, but I’ll spare you the time. Over the first few days I had talked to some of my squadmates about this and they affirmed me again and again, but I couldn’t shake these thoughts, so I tried to hide. I could only hide until one of the kind gals on my squad found me. We were practicing giving each other feedback, a vital piece to community development on the race, and she let me know that she appreciated my joyful spirit, but she believed there was more to me that I wouldn’t allow the team into. She was right, but I didn’t know how to fix that. As it turns out, the Lord wanted to redeem that part of me. 

On my knees, surrounded by my squad, I asked him again, “God, what do you think of me?” As I could finished the question, I stood to my feet and the worship leader began to speak,

 “God wants to tell someone here this: I don’t care what they think about you. I never cared what they would think about you.” 

I was driven back to my knees only for the Lord to continue, 

“I didn’t create you for them. I created you for me. I enjoy you.” 

So I’m stepping into my identity as a beloved son of the creator of the universe and with that I am taking hold of the authority that comes with it. I’m learning what that looks like, but it’s been good to commune with God knowing just what he thinks of me. 

Hold tight, friends part two is on the way as I’m discovering so much about the intimate relationship that God desires to have with each of his children. For now, i’d challenge you to make space for God to speak to you. Specifically ask him what he thinks about you. As always, thank you so much for your support and encouragement. 

Much love, 

AWM