I Gave Satan a Chew Toy

This morning, my team was invited to worship with the World Race Gap Year squad that is currently staying at the Adventures in Missions base that is here in Guatemala. If you know me, you know that when I lead worship, I prefer to have a plan. You’ll be surprised then, when I tell you that I went in knowing where I was going to start, but not where I would finish. 

That’s because the work is not mine. I’m learning to relinquish control to the Holy Spirit when I lead worship in this kind of setting. He’s been faithful to call songs to my mind that I have never led a single time in my life. He’s been kind enough to give songs to other people in the room and they either sing those out or ask me to sing them. When Jesus is glorified, the Spirit will always move and I’m counting on that these days. That’s why I find myself in the secret place so frequently. Exalting Jesus has had to become my priority, because without the work of the Holy Spirit, my time here is in vain. 

As worship began, the breath of God blew into our midst and the Spirit hovered for barely a moment before he began to strip down the hearts of every person in the room, revealing secrets, declaring love, receiving praise. There was no moment of awkwardness… Every person in the room came to lift the name of Jesus and experience a move of God. It was powerful. There was no need for a set list. Not even a need for a few songs to kick us off. We dove right into the presence of our Father, together, as brothers and sisters.

After one of the staff members from the base brought the word, my team hung around and we got to chat with two of the Gap Racers. They’re some pretty nifty dudes from Cali and Ohio, just livin’ the dream and sharin’ the gospel. I’m pretty obsessed with the Gap Year program and wish I would’ve known about it when I graduated from high school, but I didn’t and I’m here now so I am still very thankful. We talked through their favorite part of being on the Race and also how we all found the Race. 

Before we left, one of the guys told me he had a word for me, so we stepped out of the room and he shared. Honestly, I had no idea what he was about to share and I was, indeed, caught off guard. He very gently began with an encouraging word about how I lead worship and moved into a moment that he knew that God wanted to use to call me higher. In essence, this is what he shared:

“Be above reproach with your words. You should always communicate love and encouragement.”

My initial response was to be honored that the Lord would want to let me know this. My follow up response was to wonder how frequently my words display anything other than love or encouragement that God felt the need to have someone remind me of this. I even allowed Satan to take hold of this word from the Lord. What was intended to call me higher and to help me look more like Jesus actually became fuel for the fire that the enemy was tending. I gave Satan a chew toy. 

As my team was foraging the Bodegona for our groceries, I thought I sensed some frustration in one of my teammates and that really annoyed me. One of the other gals on my team asked what was going on and I looked at her, said “she’s being annoying,” and stormed off. 

Once we made it back to the van the “annoying” teammate allowed everyone else to load first and I sort of thought that she heard me call her annoying. I could not have been more wrong about the entire situation. 

The frustration that I sensed wasn’t that at all. She was actually trying to send another teammate on a secret mission to obtain a gift for me and she didn’t know how to do that with me standing right next to her. So when I stormed off, she didn’t know I was storming, but she was relieved because I created space for her to do what she was going to do. 

Once everyone was in the van, she looked at me with her hands behind her back, smiled, and presented the holiest of beverages to me. Chocolate Milk. She knew I was wrestling with the word that I’d been given and also knew that I haven’t had choccy milk since before I left Mississippi for launch and just wanted me to know that I was loved. 

At that moment, the Lord clearly asked me this question: 

“Don’t you think it’s time you gave that to me?” 

I unclenched my fists, took back what the enemy had stolen, handed it over to the Lord, and sipped my chocolate milk. 

What I’m wondering today, is how often we sit in these situations. The Lord convicts us of sin and we wallow in shame and allow Satan to rejoice in our affliction? My challenge to you today is to ask the Lord what it is that He requires from you. Could it be something as simple as your morning coffee or your earbuds? Maybe it’s something a bit more challenging, like your words or actions? He’s worthy of it all, my friends. 

You’re loved. 

You’re special to me. 

I appreciate you. 

AWM